Maman takes us to the movies...by JJ

GrandMaman is taking us to the movies today.  We are all excited to see what she has found for us.  She always tries to make our life exciting since most of us are not allowed the free roaming privileges  that Bat Girl and Caroline have.  We have toys and climbing posts and of course the dogs for entertainment.  But a movie...I hope there's popcorn!  Look at what GrandMaman is loading up for us to watch.  Pop some corn, get a drink...enjoy the show!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8stkqssLYc

A Letter Home

Dear Folks,
Well, I just wanted all of you to know that once more I have landed on my feet. There was a terrible storm a couple of weeks ago, with lots of noise and lights and it scared me into early labor. I'm not used to so much activity and worry over how my siblings were faring in such really had me in a tizzy. The children were just soaking wet and I feared they might drown. Suddenly this red car pulled into the parking lot of the building where I had found some shelter. I had the kids up on the loading dock and made plenty of noise when I heard activity in the back hall way. The door opened and the giant on the other side looked down at me and my little brood and sighed. Heavily. I don't think he was to pleased to see us, but he didn't chase us away either. He left for a bit, then came back out with a box. I watched, holding my breath, as he scooped the children up and put them in the box. He turned to go inside, then looked back at me and said, "well, are you coming in?" Of course I was coming in. What's he think, I'm nuts?

He got this small warm air machine and began to dry and warm the children, then he turned it to me. Not liking this new turn of events, I ran behind this big chair, and washed and dried myself. What's he think, I'm a baby? So anyway, after we were all warmed up, I got in with the babies and they had a good meal. I heard the giant leave the room, and when he returned, he had a bowl of milk and some sort of meat broken up in the dish. He called it chicken, and I was amazed. Did you know that lizard tastes like chicken? He kept asking me where I had come from and how I had ended up at the Progressive Journal. I tried to tell him that I needed a job to support me and my family and that I was an excellent Copycat, that there was no job around a newspaper that I couldn't tackle with finesse and speed. And judging from the mouse droppings I hadn't gotten here a minute to soon.

I saw him pick up this little square gizmo and start talking into it. I think he called it a cell. Didn't look like any cell that I'd ever seen before, but I took his word for it. So whoever was on the other end ( he called her Mom) he was telling her about my plight and asking if there was any room at the inn. Seriously, he asked if THERE WAS ANY ROOM AT THE INN! At first all I could hear was laughter coming from the other end of the thing he called a cell. A laughing cell. Now that I could handle. He explained that along with me, there were five little ones and that he couldn't keep us here. There seemed to be some conversation on the other end and after a bit he put all of us in the red car. He told me I couldn't drive and kept moving me away from the steering wheel. I had never traveled so fast and the scenery was fascinating. We turned down this long drive and I saw a house and trees. Man there are a lot of trees here. It's like Disneyland. So anyway, we stopped next to this house and a lady giant came out and hugged the man giant and then they stood looking down at the children. The lady giant was telling the man giant that I was so ugly I was cute. What does she mean ugly? She started calling me Puddinhead immediately. How did she know what you call me, Mama? I tried to tell her my name was Shaherazade but she just won't say it.

So, I have this nice house just off the porch, we are all warm and comfy, meal times come regularly at 6 am and 6 pm and we have all the rest of the day to do our own thing. Today I went exploring with the pair of giants who live here. I found their garden to my liking. And the woods are wonderful. I met this really bossy squirrel who told me to stay off his tree. Like, I didn't see his name on it, so what's he on about? Anyway Mom, I just wanted all of you to know that we're safe and don't worry about us. I don't know why they call this the Crazy Cat Lady's house. She doesn't seem at all crazy to me. I think she may be my gift from the Maker.

Love
Shaherazade

alias "Puddinhead"

A Well Traveled Cat

As told to the family Historian, Pyewackit who having known Gizmo personally wishes to share her story...it goes like this..

Her mother was a fierce hunter who prowled the gardens like her panther ancestors.  She crawled on her belly after field mice and stalked snakes with stealthy finesse.  Until she didn't.  We found her lying in the garden with the dead snake nearby.  She had fulfilled her destiny and met it at the same instant.  We didn't know what to call her because she had been tossed out at our place several weeks before and she had not told us her name.  So she was buried  in the garden with a mound of stones to mark her passing.  That evening we heard a pitiful mewling coming from the garage.  Mac checked around and sure enough, there nestled in the hold of the cinderblock  ship lay a tiny barely week old kitten. 
We at first called her Cinderella, for obvious reasons.  But she soon taught us her name.  I made her a formula that did not agree with her at all.  Calling Dr Lawhon I explained that we were fostering a new born and were experiencing projectile vomiting after each feeding.  He recommended we put her on Pedialyte immediately.  What a valuable piece of information this has proven to be over the years. 
Having planned a trip to Alabama that July 1996, we packed up the baby and all her supplies, portable litter pan included and headed off to Selma to be in time for the Olympic torch to pass through that historic city.  Gizmo as she was now known, was 9 weeks old and still taking her pedialyte straight up.  She was bossy and cantankerous, loving and dependent, agile and boneless in her acrobotics.  She was loved as we have loved all our feline companions and then some.  She made us laugh and she entertained Mac's family with her antics.  Even though we had brought her kennel with us, she was allowed the run of both the Grandparents and her Aunt Ginger's.  She had been from South Carolina through Georgia into Alabama.  She went as far as Mississipi and North Carolina.  All before she was a year old.  She loved to travel.
 She also loved her dogs, two shelties named Duffy and Ripley.  She tried to slip into the back yard with them every chance she got.  One night she was successful and we didn't know.  The next morning we discovered that she was missing.  We called and called her name both inside and out.  We scoured the fields and called the neighbors.  Mac haunted the pound, going there several  times a week for over a year.  We posted her as missing in the Chronicle for 3 months, put up posters of our Gizmo sitting in my dolls house and still searched the fields and woods.  One day a lady called me.  She told me that they had found Giz several months back and that her daugter was wrapped around her heart, and Giz was wrapped around hers.  She had no intention of returning her, just wanted to relieve our minds, to let us know that she was okay.
We cried.  Although knowing she was perfectly fine helped, it didn't cause us to miss her any less.  It pained us that Gizmo had taken yet another trip, this time without us.  I hope that she is still with her new family and that she is still the apple of her little mistresses eye.  Our little world traveler deserves only the best.

A letter to the Great Cat to whom we owe life

My Dear Master
We have been away from our duties, but the gathering last night brought us much hope.  Maman has an owie on her foot and the pain has been bad.  She finally will be getting that under control this week with something Papa calls an op-er-ation.  He is worried, but she is brave and not afraid to go into the breech...his words. Meanwhile, we exist in her warmth and Papa's largesse. 

On hearing that we have coyotes in our woods (I know for I have seen their grey slinking other worldliness prowling my haunts) Cher has written a new song.  She whispered it into Maman's ear the other night while she lay sleeping.  Now, you can hear Maman singing it to the tops of her rather considerable lungs as she walks our little cricket.  She used to sing a silly song about having no bananas and we believe that is where our Cher got her inspirations..the song goes   

yes, we have no coyotes
we have no coyotes today
we have big ones and small ones
there's short ones and tall ones
but they seem to all be grey
yes, we have no coyotes
we have no coyotes today!

Well, madame Cher, I disagree.  We DO have coyotes and if Maman would give you the freedom that she gives me you would soon figure that out.  But no, I heard Maman say that if Cher were out in the wild she'd be the first one signing up to be a hot lunch...no faith in our Cher has she.  Meanwhile, Caroline (or Carolina as Papa calls her) has also seen the grey beasties and is busily laying a trap.  No sense has our Caroline.  She thinks she is a real ocelot, not just colored like one.  I have attempted to stop her tree sitting in watch to no avail.  I, Batgirl, promise to keep you updated on her royal stupidness's antics.  Until later, I remain your precious Batgirl.

A Notecard Party from Ms Vee

Maman told us our beloved Ms Vee from A Haven for Vee http://ahavenforvee.blogspot.com/ is having a notecard party.  My Glaring is lovely enough for this party and I will introduce you to us...first of all you must meet me, I am Batgirl and the Queen of the McBride Glaring...

Next you should meet Pyewackit, the 18 year old Elder Statesman.  He is grouchy these days but old age does that...

Sonny is the Clown Prince.  There is no hope for him and all I can offer are apologies

And of course there is our sweet Cher...the lights are on, but nobody's home

And there you have us...don't we make fantastic cards?

Happy Birthday Darlin'

Today is Darlin's birthday and Mamon is busy doing things for him today.  She is going to cook him favorite things and one of his favorite things is being fish...salmon fish.  And grits.  I care not for the grits but will love to share in the salmon as it swims upstream to reach his plate.  And eggs that Mamon stands and beats for no reason that I can tell but they look pretty and fluffy standing on the plate sliding over to the grits to give them hugs and kisses when she scoops them out of te big hot pan that will make me go oeyoeyey if I try to see too closely.  I think she will be baking him a big white cake all covered over with coconut because I heard her smacking the hard shelled milk container arouund last night and she was using the grater thingy this morning,  I like cake. Happy Birthday, Darrlin' how old are you now?   29?  Mamon is laughing and saying that it is a mathmatical impossibility for Darlin' to be younger than his younger son,  and he is laughing and says you my sweetest sweetums keep me young,  she is doing that finger down the thoat thing and laughing at Darlin' and they are hugging.  Yuck.  Grown ups make me sick.  BUT

Love you we do Darlin'

From Caroline

JJ the Tuxedo Cat takes a bow

It's quiet in here.  Mamon and Darlin' left in the big red truck.  They told Chase and Cricket "watch the house and don't chase the kids" so I know they won't be home soon.  They don't know that we kids chase they.  Cricket tries to tell when they come back in but Mamon speaks cat fluently and dog not at all.  Darlin' speaks dog but he refuses to believe that we kids can cause that much mayhem where dogs are concerned.  Precious Pup and Popeye (Chase and Cricket) try to get us in trouble but JJ just sits and looks innocent and sweet.  No one ever believes them.   Cricket tried to tell them about how we got him cornered under the big bed an wouldn't let him out.  Now how, pray tell (Mamon always says that, it sounds divine so i borrow her phrase)could we five possibly do that?  I mean I've heard of a leg at each corner...oh, ok right we could do that. 

Mamon calls me her little tuxedo cat so I looked in the big book of the Kings English and guess what?  I do look like I have a tuxedo on.  i am really quite lovely...see?

Oh and you know they think cause I am the baby that i am not smart but i can speak human so good.  i know what "JJgetdownfromthatcounterrightnow" means.  It means scoot and do it fast.   I love rolling around on the big bed when Mamon and Darlin' are away and playing with the pillows that smell like geese.  I cuddle in the down and slip into sleep and pretend I can fly. 

So that's me, JJ...come talk to me sometime.  I have secrets to share.

That British Woman: A GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

That British Woman: A GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!
I noticed that Cher had been on the computer and left her message...but I have a more important one...Gill, That British Woman, has a lovely giveaway going on right now.  You must go visit her and see what's in the offering...I'm o excited to be a part of it and hope I will win at least one of these drawings...keep your fingers crossed...now go read Cher's latest work.
Sandi

Cricket's Song, by Cher the Composer

Now that Sunny really upset me.  Am I wrong or did he insinuate that Cher (that is me) is not quite bright?  Why, I am the smartest in our family for sure!  I am the Muse.  I write poetry.  I am talented and quiet.  I only talk to the canines...they understand me.  Sometimes I speak with Caroline, if she is in a good mood.  I sit quietly and compose.  Sunny really should not assume that because I don't natter on about nothing that my noggin is empty.  Why, just this day I wrote of Cricket, Mam'an's precious boy...I quite like our Cricket and Scarlet, too.  They are so much fun, they chase me but don't catch me.  That's more than I can say for the rest!  So, here is my ode to our Cricket....

Cricket's Song

Go pee high up on that fence post
leave your name, your number two
no no not that you nitwit canine
you never heard me say go poo...
no, pee high there let the others
know who you are and what you do
when you ate and how you ate it
with gusto,  mate, and a lovely brew...

Tell them Deadlyclaws is a bounder
a cock sure peke with a steady gait
a girl friend we all call Miz Scarlet
though the humans call her Chase
tell those blighters they need not tarry
but go on back down through the wood
don't return, for you'll be packin'
gnarling teeth and a filthy mood!

He lies upended there on the carpet
happily dreaming of how mean he is
front feet running nine to forty
soft woofs echo from between his lips
and then he awakens with sudden caution
a heavy weight upon his chest
and narrows eyes at the snoozing feline
covering him warmly like a vest

"How can I go pee high upon that fencepost
and show them all how fierce I be
when you show no more fear than Scarlet
and even dare to nap on me!
get thee gone, you cuss'ed feline
don't you know I'm danger based?
 Cher laughs softly at his fierceness
(and dares to stroke that pug nosed face)

"Calm down sweet boy, you know your bluster
won't give me the slightest pause
did you forget, your name is Cricket
when you're awake, not Deadly Claw' s...
you're but a dog, and we'll protect you
from any harm that comes your way
feline power is to be respected
now lie back down, and let me lay..."

And so he does as he's commanded
and looks forward to gallant dreams
where he'll go pee high up on that fencepost
and show the world he's what he seems!
He's no cat bed though Cher would claim him
he's no weak kneed Nellie, he
he's a brute, his bark will prove it!
if his sweet Cher would just let him be!

Sunny Speakssss his mind...

So ma'man  has been laid up with something Batgirl calls "the ouchies".  That is as close to what the peoples call RA as we can come.  Herself moves and she says "owowow" so I calling it the "owies".  My name is being Sunny.  It is 'cause I  have excellent disposition...big word for cat, spelling optional.  I am being Russian Blue, and am the favorite.  I know I am cause I am helper to Herself.  We make bed every morning when I am reminding Herself that the time is right.   The time is right when I say.  I have sister named Cher, she of "the lights are on but nobody home" fame.  Or at least that is what I hear my people say when speaking of her.  She is very sweet, just not very clever.  And she is liking dogs better than felines.  Strange girl, she.  Our people are getting ready for something called "super bowl" and we have bets as to what will be in it.  Will it be kibble for damn dogs or will it be salmon for the sweeties (us)...or will it be that strange stuff Himself calls "dip" when he is eating the corn crispies...i am thinking it has to be salmon or maybe even jackmac...yummmm...but will have to let you know.  This super bowl is supposed to be prepared on the Sabbath day...which is very strange, because usually they eat  at The World Famous Smokehouse on Sunday.  Herself brings us a plate to share that is filled with chicken and something she calls ribs that the dogs like...she tells us Roger prepared this feast for us and us alone...but I smell ribs on her breath when she is telling us so i am thinking that maybe this roger prepares the feast and our darling mama'n simply shares the afters...so that is me, but don't be telling anyone that i am the favorite.  it is being our secret.